Loving Her Through the Storm
Happy Hour at Skypointe
Looking beyond the dementia
Every day I drove to visit my wife Lynn, I never knew what I would find.
Some days she welcomed me with a warm smile and a hug. On other days she looked at me with uncertainty. Occasionally she would ask, "Who are you?" or wonder why I was there at all.
Those moments were heartbreaking, but over time I learned one of the most important lessons dementia has taught me:
Playing Games at Skypointe
This was not Lynn rejecting me. It was the disease affecting her brain.
One of the greatest stigmas surrounding dementia is the belief that a person has somehow "become someone else" or no longer knows how to love. That simply is not true.
Dementia damages memory, language, and reasoning, but the person we love is still there. They may no longer be able to express themselves as they once did. They may struggle to recognize familiar faces or find the right words, but they continue to experience comfort, fear, joy, loneliness, and love.
I discovered that love has many languages.
When conversation became difficult, holding Lynn's hand often said more than words ever could. A gentle smile, sitting quietly beside her, or singing one of her favourite hymns brought a sense of peace that conversation sometimes could not.
Another common misconception is that a person with dementia has lost their faith or spiritual understanding.
A Rose for Sunday
Many times, although Lynn could not carry on a conversation, she quietly joined in singing familiar hymns or softly spoke the name of Jesus. Scriptures and songs that had been hidden in her heart over many years remained when so much else had faded.
Those moments reminded me that dementia can affect the mind, but it cannot erase a lifetime of God's love and faithfulness.
Caring for someone living with dementia requires patience, understanding, and compassion. Families often grieve many small losses while continuing to love the person who is still present before them.
As a society, we can help remove the stigma surrounding dementia by looking beyond the diagnosis. Rather than asking, "What's wrong with them?" we can ask, "How can I help?" A smile, a kind word, a patient conversation, or simply treating someone with dignity can make an enormous difference.
People living with dementia deserve more than our sympathy. They deserve our respect, our understanding, and our compassion.
My journey with Lynn has taught me that while dementia changes many things, it does not change a person's value. Every individual remains someone deeply loved by family, precious in God's sight, and worthy of kindness.
Perhaps that is the most important lesson dementia has to teach us all.